MisterMMM.com: Mark's blog

March 27 2011

I was looking forward to spending a nice day out on the road, teaching people how to drive. The weather was gorgeous. Warm and sunny, with the sun quite high, so it didn't get in your eyes.

On the ring road heading east from Kingsway, stopping at the lights for the Uttoxeter Road, I stopped just behind a big white van who was at the front. Then a car appeared behind me, a little too close, with a young lad in it, and I presume his girlfriend.

The next thing, he starts revving his engine to the max, holding it for a few seconds and then letting it go back to tickover. I just thought that I needed a really big gap in front of me. When the lights changed I waited for the van in front to move off a bit more than normal before I started moving.

The driver behind then kept about a foot from my bumper. Fine, met an idiot already! Then he swung out into the right hand lane between 2 cars with about 2 foot gaps front and back. I carried on as normal as I could, getting up to the limit and leaving the idiot to follow alongside, revving his engine.

It was like this all the way up the hill, until he dropped back, and turned left behind me onto the Burton Road.

Bizarre!

So then over the lights onto Warwick Avenue, a girl in a little blue polo pulled up alongside me, and then moved over into my space, while I was in it. I backed off and then moved out to overtake. There was no one there of course, and I went past her, the car in front, and the lorry only doing about 35mph.

I checked on what she was doing and she just followed along the road. Why she had tried to drive into me I had no idea. That was idiot number 2, already.

Then the next place where the road narrows to one lane from two, I was checking my mirrors when this old man caught up very quickly attempting to overtake on the left, and then tried to drive into the side of me. I had to go on the wrong side. He had nowhere to go anyway coz he was about 2 feet from the car in front.

Of course, I felt quite angry at this gross stupidity, putting me in danger for no benefit to anyone. I felt like Ed Byrne on Mock The Week, when he can't get to the mike, saying "Am I ***king invisible in this jacket!?!?!". I really wanted to shout at these people, "Am I ***king invisible in this car!?!?!?".

The other thing that crossed my mind, was I hope that when I get old, I won't be as reckless and stupid as that old man. I don't remember being that bad a driver when I was younger, like the lad at the start, and I certainly hope I don't turn into a dangerous girl driver!